Thérèse and her Superiors

However, our Mother Prioress, frequently ill, had little time to spend with me. I know that she loved me very much and said everything good about me that was possible, nevertheless, God permitted that she was VERY SEVERE without her even being aware of it. I was unable to meet her without having to kiss the floor,¹⁷⁰ and it was the same thing on those rare occasions when she gave me spiritual direction. What an inestimable grace! How visibly God was acting within her who took His place! What would have become of me if I had been the “pet” of the community as some of the Sisters believed? Perhaps, instead of seeing Our Lord in my Superiors, I would have looked upon them as ordinary persons only and my heart, so well guarded while I was in the world, would have become humanly attached in the cloister. Happily I was preserved from this misfortune. I loved Mother Prioress very much, but it was a pure affection which raised me to the Bridegroom of my soul.

170. This was customary when a religous was corrected for a fault. Hisoire d’une Âme adds: “Once, I remember having left a cobweb in the cloister; she said to me before the whole community: ‘We can easily see that our cloisters are swept by a child of fifteen! Go and take that cobweb away and be more careful in the future.’ What pained me most was not to know how I was to correct my faults, for example, my slowness, my want of thoroughness in the offices. One day, I said to myself that no doubt Mother Prioress wanted me to work during free time; this I ordinarily gave to prayer. And so I plied my needle without looking up. As I wanted to be faithful and act solely for Jesus, no one ever knew about it. During my postulancy, our Novice Mistress sent me each afternoon to weed the garden at 4:30. This cost me much since I was almost sure to meet Mother Marie de Gonzague. Once she said: ‘Really, this child does nothing at all! What sort of novice has to take a walk every day?’ She acted this way in everything concerning me. O Mother, how I thank God for having given me so firm and precious an education!”

Our Novice Mistress¹⁷¹ was really a saint, the finished product of the first Carmelites. I was with her all day long since she taught me how to work. Her kindness toward me was limitless and still my soul did not expand under her direction. It was only with great effort that I was able to take direction, for I had never become accustomed to speaking about my soul and I didn’t know how to express what was going on within it. One good old Mother¹⁷² understood one day what I was experiencing, and she said laughingly during recreation: “My child, it seems to me you don’t have very much to tell your Superiors.” “Why do you say that, Mother?” “Because your soul is extremely simple, but when you will be perfect, you will be even more simple; the closer one approaches to God, the simpler one becomes.” The good Mother was right; however, the difficulty I had in revealing my soul, while coming from my simplicity, was a veritable trial; I recognize it now, for I express my thoughts with great ease without ceasing to be simple.

171. Sister Marie of the Angels (1845–1924) was Mistress in 1886.

172. Sister Fébronie was then Subprioress; Thérèse assisted her in her last moments (note of Mother Agnes of Jesus).

I have said that Jesus was “my Director.” Upon entering Carmel, I met one who was to serve me in this capacity, but hardly had I been numbered among his children when he left for exile.¹⁷³ Thus I came to know him only to be deprived of him. Reduced to receiving one letter a year from him to my twelve, my heart quickly turned to the Director of directors, and it was He who taught me that science hidden from the wise and prudent and reveled to little ones.¹⁷⁴

173. Father Pichon was sent to Canada as preacher. He left Le Havre, November 3, 1888.

174. Matthew 11:25.