Paris

The pilgrimage left Paris on November 7, but Papa had taken us there a few days before to visit the Capital. At three o’clock in the morning,¹³⁶ I crossed the city of Lisieux which was still wrapped in sleep; many impressions passed through my soul at that moment. I had a feeling I was approaching the unknown, that great things awaited me out there. Papa was very happy; when the train began to move he sang the old refrain, “Roll, roll, my carriage, here we are on the open road.”  We reached Paris in the morning and commenced our visit without any delay. Poor little Father tired himself out trying to please us, and very soon we saw all the marvels of the Capital. I myself found only one which filled me with delight, Our Lady of Victories!

Ah! what I felt kneeling at her feet cannot be expressed. The graces she granted me so moved me that my happiness found expression only in tears, just as on the day of my First Communion. The Blessed Virgin made me feel it was really herself who smiled on me and brought about my cure. I understood she was watching over me, that I was her child. I could no longer give her any other name but “Mama,” as this appeared ever so much more tender than Mother. How fervently I begged her to protect me always, to bring to fruition as quickly as possible my dream of hiding beneath the shadow of her virginal mantle!  This was one of my first desires as a child. When growing up, I understood it was at Carmel I would truly find the Blessed Virgin’s mantle, and toward this fertile Mount I directed all my desires.

I prayed to Our Lady of Victories to keep far from me everything that could tarnish my purity; I was fully aware that on a voyage such as this into Italy I could easily meet with things capable of troubling me. I was still unacquainted with evil and so was apprehensive about making its discovery. I had not yet experienced that to the pure all things are pure, ¹³⁷ that the simple and upright soul sees evil in nothing since it resides only in impure hearts, not in inanimate objects.

I also prayed to St. Joseph, asking him to watch over me; ever since my childhood I had a devotion for him that easily merged with my love for the Blessed Virgin. I recited each day the prayer in his honor: “O St. Joseph, Father and Protector of virgins…” and so it was without any fear I undertook the long journey; being so well protected what was there to fear?

After our solemn consecration to the Sacred Heart in the Basilica at Montmartre, we departed from Paris on Monday, at seven in the morning.¹³⁸  We very quickly became acquainted with the different people on the pilgrimage. So timid that I usually dared not speak, I was surprised to find myself with the great ladies, the priests, and even the Bishop of Coutances. It seemed to me I had always lived in this milieu. We were, I believe, very well loved by everybody and Papa was proud of his two daughters.¹³⁹ But if he was proud of us, we too were equally proud of him, for in the whole pilgrimage there was no one as handsome and distinguished as my beloved King. He loved to see himself in Céline’s and my company, and when I was separated from him, he called me back to take his arm as we always did at Lisieux. Father Révérony carefully studied all our actions, and I was able to see him do this at a distance. While eating, if I was not opposite him, he would lean over in such a way as to see me and listen to my conversation. He wanted to know me, undoubtedly, to see if I were really capable of becoming a Carmelite. I think he was favorably impressed by his study, for at journey’s end  he seemed well disposed toward me. At Rome he was far from being favorable to me as I will explain later.