Visit to a bishop

Before my entrance into Carmel I had many experiences of life and the miseries of the world. Details such as this would only lead me far astray, and so I’ll now take up the account of my vocation once more.

October 31 was the day set for the trip to Bayeux. I left alone with Papa, my heart filled with hope, but also rather scared at the thought of meeting the Bishop. For the first time in my life, I was to make a visit unaccompanied by my sisters and this visit was to a Bishop!¹²⁴ I had never had any reason to speak unless in answer to questions addressed to me, and now I had to explain the purpose of my visit, to develop the reasons that made me seek entrance into Carmel; in a word, I was to show the firmness of my vocation. Ah! what that trip cost me! God had to give me a very special grace to overcome my timidity. It’s also very true that “love never finds impossibilities, because it believes everything is possible, everything is permitted.” ¹²⁵ It was surely only love of Jesus that could help me surmount these difficulties and the ones that followed, for it pleased Him to have me buy my vocation with very great trials.

Today, when I am enjoying Carmel’s solitude (resting in the shadow of him whom I have so ardently desired), I find I paid very little for my happiness,¹²⁶ and would be ready to bear with even greater trials to acquire it if I still didn’t have it!