Marie at Carmel

Never will I forget the kindness and embarrassment of this poor little Father of ours when he came to announce that Léonie had already received the habit of the Poor Clares. He found this very strange, just as we did, but he didn’t want to say anything when he saw how unhappy Marie was about the matter. He took us to the covenant and there I experienced a sort of contradiction of my heart such as I never felt at the sight of a monastery. This monastery produced the opposite effect which Carmel produced in me, for there everything made my heart expand. This sight of the religious didn’t attract me in the least, and I was not tempted to remain among them. However, poor Léonie was very attractive in her new costume, and she told us to get a good look at her eyes because we would no longer see them (the Poor Clares have a custom of going around with eyes downcast), but God was content with only two months of sacrifice, and Léonie returned to show us her blue eyes which were frequently moist with tears.

When leaving Alençon I believed she would remain with the Poor Clares, and so it was with a heavy heart I left the sad street of Demi-lune (half moon). We were only three now and soon our Marie was also to leave. The 15th of October was the day of separation! From the happy and numerous family of Les Buissonnets there remained only the two youngest children. The doves had flown from the paternal nest, and those who remained would have loved to fly in their turn, but their wings were still too weak for them to take flight.

God, who willed to call to Himself the smallest and weakest of all, hastened to develop her wings. He, who is pleased to show His goodness and power by using the least worthy instruments, willed to call me before calling Céline who no doubt merited this favor more. But Jesus knew how weak I was and it was for this reason He hid me first in the crevice of the rock.⁹¹

When Marie entered Carmel, I was still very scrupulous. No longer able to confide in her I turned toward heaven. I addressed myself to the four angels who had preceded me there, for I thought that these innocent souls, having never known troubles or fear, would have pity on their poor little sister who was suffering on earth. I spoke to them with the simplicity of a child, pointing out that being the youngest of the family, I was always the most loved, the most covered with my sisters’ tender cares, that if they had remained on earth they, too, would have given me proofs of their affection. Their departure for heaven did not appear to me as a reason for forgetting me; on the contrary, finding themselves in a position to draw from the divine treasure, they had to take peace for me from these treasures and thus show me that in heaven they still knew how to love! The answer was not long in coming, for soon peace came to inundate my soul with its delightful waves, and I knew then that if I was loved on earth, I was also loved in heaven. Since that moment, my devotion for my little brothers and sisters has grown and I love to hold dialogues with them frequently, to speak with them about the sadness of our exile, about my desire to join them soon in the Fatherland!