My big sisters

I was very fond of my godmother,⁹ without appearing to do so, I paid close attention to what was said and done around me. It seems to me I was judging things then as I do now. I was listening carefully to what Marie was teaching Céline in order to do what Céline did. After Marie came out of the Visitation,¹⁰ to obtain permission to go into the room where she was giving Céline her lessons, I was very good and did everything she wanted. She gave me a lot of gifts, and in spite of their insignificant value these pleased me a lot.

I was very proud of my two sisters, but the one who was my ideal from childhood was Pauline. When I was beginning to talk, Mama would ask me: “What are you thinking about?” and I would answer invariably: “Pauline!” Another time, I was moving my little finger over the windowpanes and I said: “I’m writing Pauline!”

I had often heard it said that surely Pauline would become a religious, and without knowing too much about what it meant I thought: “I too will be a religious.” This is one of my first memories and I haven’t changed my resolution since then! It was through you, dear Mother, that Jesus chose to espouse me to Himself. You were not with me then, but already a bond was formed between our souls. You were my ideal; I wanted to be like you, and it was your example that drew me toward the Spouse of Virgins at the age of two. What sweet reflections I would like to confide to you! But I have to continue the story of the little flower, her complete and general story, for if I were to go into detail about my relationship with you, I would have to leave everything else aside!

Dear little Léonie held a warm place in my heart. She was very fond of me and in the evenings when the family took a walk she used to take care of me. I still seem to hear those beautiful lullabies she used to sing to me to get me to sleep. She was always trying to find ways of pleasing me, and I would be sorry if I caused her any trouble.

I remember very well her First Communion and especially the moment she picked me up in her arms and carried me into the rectory. It seemed so nice to be carried by a big sister all in white like myself! In the evening they put me to bed early as I was too little to stay up for the banquet, but I can still see Papa coming at dessert time, carrying a piece of cake to his little Queen.

We accompanied Mama the next day or a few days after to the home of Léonie’s little companion. I believe that was the day our good little Mother took us behind a wall to give us a drink of wine she didn’t want to offend the good woman and didn’t want to deprive us of anything. Ah! how delicate a Mother’s heart really is, and how it shows its tenderness in a thousand little cares that no one thinks about!